I’m currently sitting on a plane flying over Africa. We just flew across the Atlantic Ocean – it’s surreal… I’m really doing this. It’s not a dream. I’m facing more fears. I’m letting go of comfort…releasing my fists that want to continue to hold onto all the things I think I can control. It’s amazing to experience the freedom and peace that happens when i let go..and let God. The phrase “God’s got it” keeps cycling through my mind on repeat. I’ve been praying throughout the day – seeking the Lords peace and comfort as I step outside my comfort. I’m flying alone, but really, as I have been reminded, I am not alone. God is with me – oh glorious, I couldn’t have asked for a better traveling companion. This day has certainly been full of kinds stressful situations and awkward uncomfortableness, but I’ve been reminded in each situation that “he’s got it” … as I got to the airport alone in DC and state at the ridiculously long line ahead of me – I panic but it quickly subsides as I get behind a family who is with their father who is flying home to Ethiopia. The women were incredibly friendly and their son worked at the airport. They brought me a cart for my heavy luggage that I was struggling with in line and we talked through most of the line. After an hour, I finally got to the counter where they only had a flight for me to Addis Ababa but not Kigali. I forgot to print out my itinerary, but thankfully I had it on my phone and could show them the email confirmations. After more waiting and juggling around from person to person a man was able to get me on the flight to Kigali and sent me on my way to more long lines through security and standby at the gate. I wasn’t all that concerned and knew it would work out as I prayed my way through the airport – can I just say that was a big change for me as I think I this were a few years ago I would have been a mess. All along there were about 2-3 men who helped me along the way from the very beginning – the son of the man in front of me who worked there and the ticket guy and some others that I felt like they followed me from the beginning of the whole process. I saw a kindness in all of their eyes. My heart filled with compassion for each of them. I wanted to know their stories – the kindness and gentleness that came from their eyes and smiles. I made it just in time to board the plane with even a quick bathroom stop and still plenty of time.
I was seated next to a 14 month old and his single mother. I had no time to introduce myself at the beginning of the flight since she was on the phone – but it didn’t take long for me to get to know her son, Ethan. My heart breaks for this little guy and his mom. He’s not very happy to be forced to sit still and her patience is running very thin. The flight was 14 hours long, by the end of the flight Ethan got comfortable crawling into my lap and we even took some walks. The mother didn’t seem phased and it was as if she expected for others to take care of her son. I got a little bit of her story, but not much. My heart just broke as I took on a little glimpse of a mothering role for this adorable little guy on this flight which tugged on my heart and desire to have a family and to adopt even more.
At one point, he put his forehead to my forehead and looked right into my eyes. Melt my heart. I know the mother was really overwhelmed, but she didn’t even say thank you – not that i needed it, but it just seemed odd. I think The Lord gave me an increased amount of patience as he screamed, crawled on me, spit on me, hit me in the face, pulled my hair and so on. I believe The Lord also increased my compassion for both of them as well. By the end of the flight Ethan wanted to sit with me and fussed and cried to sit on my lap instead of his mothers. Broke my heart.
I actually enjoyed this flight – it has been the longest flight I have ever been on and I did it alone, but not really. God’s got it. I know that this flight is part of what he’s doing in my heart and part of this Kingdom adventure he has me on in this season.
Praise God from whom all blessing flow.